I guess I would say there are times where she does things that don't seem like things someone seeking a divorce would do. And there have been a few instances regarding the safety of our daughter and my step-daughter. Things that are completely out of character for her. She has always been all about family. And now, she is acting as if she has zero consideration for her family at all.
All of this behavior is extremely common for a WAS. It seems out of character because she's no longer who you thought you knew. The W you fell in love with and married and built a life with has now been replaced with a different person. Things you did may have triggered this change, or may not have. But her values and interests are now drastically different. The goal of DB'ing isn't to get your old W and M back, both are gone. Your goal is to detach and GAL and pave the way for a possible new relationship with the new version of her.
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So, how exactly does one go about GAL when they have young children at home? As I mentioned, I have been losing weight (some of that is from going out to exercise - but the exercise isn't new), getting back into my faith - going to church every week now, developing more career options, meeting friends for dinner or movies, etc. However, most of the time, when my daughter is awake, I try to be home. When I do go do things, it is after she goes to bed, most of the time.
GAL doesn't mean you have to be gone every minute of every day. It actually sounds like you have some good GAL activities going on so keep it up! Also GAL can involve your daughter. Take her to the park or to fly a kite or have a picnic. GAL just means making a life for yourself without your W.
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It's still feeling pretty icy the last few days.
Get used to it. There will be warm days and cold days.
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I had asked a friend of hers a few weeks ago to speak with her, because I was concerned about depression (or something), and she responded that she would reach out to her. Then, I didn't hear anything for a few weeks, and suddenly my wife texted me and let me know they were meeting for dinner.
DO NOT enlist others to intervene!!! She will see this as you "gathering the troops against her". Do not talk to mutual friends about the M AT ALL. If you want to talk to someone then come here or talk to your personal friends that have no connection to W. Also do not try to "diagnose" her. This will backfire on you big time. What she is going through is more than likely not depression and not "treatable" through known means of counseling and/ or medication.
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I was able to email the friend before they met to suggest she not discuss what I mentioned and just have a normal friendly dinner
