Ben, personally I've always felt that when it comes to situations like this you should be there for them if they want that. I don't think it's "bad DB'ing" to ask her, and to go with her if she requests it. My opinion is that this is what is meant by keeping the way home paved and smooth.
My XW went through a breast cancer scare not too long after BD. I did the same as you, offered to go to appointments with her and do anything she needed around the house while going through treatment. She did in fact have cancer. She did not want anything from me, so I honored her wishes and stayed away. I think now that some time has passed that she would be more inclined to accept the help, but back then she didn't even want to be in the same room as me. So be there for her if she wants you to be, give her space if she doesn't want you helping.
