That's a nice positive update Alison, and I'm glad you managed to move past that rocky time. Alcohol really doesn't bring out the best in some people does it? I hope eldest has a good week away, I think maybe you can empathise with his behaviour because you know what separation anxiety feels like. I never used to have it so found it hard to empathise with, I do now though.
Yes, I see a lot of both H and myself in Eldest: he tends to lash our or get very emotional when he is feeling insecure, and he's at a stage in life where sometimes he wants to be cherished and treated like a baby, with no responsibility, and other times he's responsible and independent and lovely, and at other times he wants all the freedom of young adulthood with none of the responsibility. The poor thing has had a hard run this past year and I know has had the burden of worrying about me more than he should have, so I want this next stage of his life to be about him finding his feet and not worry too much about how his parents are doing. I am so not ready for him moving out, but I suppose all over-protective mothers say that and I do think we need to loosen our bonds a little bit for his benefit.
I am noticing that the more assertive I am with H - not aggressive or emotional but just clear and boundaried and consistent - the better things are. Perhaps that makes him feel safer too. I don't know. Drinking really really does not bring out the best in him and I think deep down he knows that too. He's been making noises about finding other things to do in the evenings to release his work stress - the dark and cold doesn't do him any good so I am hoping now spring is here he will be able to find some of his own GAL.
