He is clearly not in any hurry to get me off the phone. I'm not sure why we are still talking.
Maybe the same reason you couldn't hang up--because after so many years together there's an attachment between you two. It's natural, but imagine if instead of him getting his "fix" of you through this toxic call he either had to miss you or talk about something non-contentious?
Yeah, it was definitely weird. Even though there is discussion about money and things settled down he wasn't the one to want to end the call but there really wasn't anything to talk about.
But you are right. I should have cut the call right after he got his answer he was looking for. He needs to miss me. I want him to miss me.
Yes --- fixing things... ugh. I do feel bad. H has NEVER done any of the bill paying in the 10yrs we have been together. He is a fish out of water and I am partly to blame for that. I felt it was my job to do this. After all he has the commute. My job was to make his life here as easy as possible. It was only in the last 2months that I was thinking about asking for help. Look at ways to trim things back. H had no idea that cable and internet had skyrocketed to over $240. AND, I spent $800 on something personal without discussing with him first. He would have NEVER done that to me. But, unfortunately I didn't get the chance to ask for help as he BD me. :-(
At one point:
Me: I've been going without right now as much as possible. H: What are you going without? Me: I'm putting off getting what I need for the puppy - food, treats, diapers ((this puppy excitement piddles at everything... I don't have the time to keep cleaning up or to have my eyes on him 24/7 because H is no where taking care of this thing)) H: You bought $50 worth of wine. Me: Yes I did. ((Okay dude you are screwing OW, you can buy me some wine...)) H: And you went out to dinner. Me: I have not been out to dinner. I eat at home minimally. ((Its H that his ringing up the card due to his eating out with OW) H: Oh, there was a charge I didn't recognize - oh you bought the wine directly from winery. Me: Yes
If it weren't for the fact he called me narcissistic - I would have thought he was trying to lean on me a little bit with hanging on the phone. He was really asking me of anything else but wasn't wanting to hang up.
I'm glad I was the one to end the call!!!! I could have easily stayed on the phone with him. I miss him. Good DB for me!!!!
And, when he called back/I had to return call he stated he had texted me so I again I try to end the call by saying great I'll just read the text... BUT, he had answered the call, since he had just texted me he could have ignored it AND he kept he on the phone to personally tell me what he had texted. AGAIN - I was grateful that I was the one to end the call and not him... Good DB for me again!!!
I'm looking forward to cleaning more. I will get the extra bedroom ready for him. He requested not to continue sleeping in the MB and I will respect that. Not sure if he is still showering in the MB or if he is going to share S18's bathroom... will wait and see I guess.
Hopefully the weather will be nice tomorrow. Hoping to get the puppy to the state park for a long walk. Sadly I just can't handle both dogs at the same time. Puppy just isn't trained enough. So I will have to walk the other dog another time.
