FWIW, I think your biggest mistake was answering, and your second mistake was engaging in discussions about finances, divorce, etc over the phone. I don't think those do your sanity or chances of reconciliation any favors. You could direct him to your e-mail if you're not comfy directing him to your lawyer.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I know this is upsetting.
Yay--acknowledging his point of view.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm doing my best to validate how upsetting this is for him not being able to get into the bank account.
Yay--validating!
Originally Posted by KitCat
Me: Let me see what I can find out from X card site. Me: Updating H on X card site.
Trying to solve his problems again? That never seems to help.
Originally Posted by KitCat
H: (seemed to think my validation was condescending) its just so narcissistic of you. To use your dad's on my account. I should have ended the conversation there by simply stating "I have answered your question and I need to go", but sadly I did not.
That would've been a solid response! You saw that after-the-fact, at least. Next time.
Originally Posted by KitCat
He is clearly not in any hurry to get me off the phone. I'm not sure why we are still talking.
Maybe the same reason you couldn't hang up--because after so many years together there's an attachment between you two. It's natural, but imagine if instead of him getting his "fix" of you through this toxic call he either had to miss you or talk about something non-contentious?
That never seems to help.