Are there any other type of group settings where you aren't sure what to do?
We sit together in church as a family (only three people there know what is going on), but W does not like me sitting next to her. Last Sunday there was an almost farcical attempt to 'reserve' a chair with water bottle, phone, notes, a crossed leg etc to preserve that space and stop me moving beside her - not that I was going to, as she obviously doesn't want me to and I am making sure I don't pressure her in any way.
The week before she swapped seats with a friend to sit next to me (or so I thought), which made my heart leap for joy. (It was the same Sunday a ring appeared back on her wedding finger.) However as she swapped seats she practically growled at me "Can you move over?", which totally threw me. It turned out that a friend sitting with us had insisted W sit next to 'your husband', which W did with great reluctance. In fact, I would even say there is anger & resentment at sitting near me.
I know I need to detach. I don't understand how I can be so horrible a person that even sitting next to me is repulsive and painful.
But also there is this double scenario going on, one where she says 'I'm still undecided, I'm on the fence' and we present as a family, but at the same time she takes off her ring and doesn't sit next to me, which seem to go against that.
