As I continue to reflect I’ve come to realize that after my wife’s EA that began in 2105 and ended in early 2017, she was never the same again. She lost something with that EA that prevented her from coming back. I told her I forgave her but she never believed it. All her friends disowned her and she stopped trusting people. Somehow she blames me for all of it. She tends to blame and deny responsibility as a rule. With the young kids who are thriving and have no clue what’s going on, it makes me very sad. And though one might argue this could somehow miraculously turn around, I think the truth is that it won’t. It’s a tough reality.
I keep in mind some of the DB mantra’s. Believe none of what she says and half of what you see. No matter how dark it gets never give up. The newest one is if she reacts to kindness with anger, that’s her fear talking-she’s confused and trying to figure out what she wants. Also “if she wasn’t confused she would be blowing me off 100%.”
And finally, it’s always darkest before the dawn. But all told, I’m having a tough time believing it’s anything but 100% over.
