Hey KG, I'm so sorry. That's so much to handle and process.
It's not petty to be thinking yourself when others are suffering. It's all intertwined, and pain on earth is simultaneous. I am sure from what you've shared you are of course mourning the devastation to your community. You are not callous for thinking of your own feelings as well in this moment.
Maybe find your own way to give back to your community during this time, and in a way that has no possibility of interacting with AP. We come into ourselves when connected to the world around us, and this is a time your community needs you and you need your community. I strongly suggest you find new connections through this work right now, interact with new faces.
