I don't want a divorce II ---- NEW THREAD Part 4

[KitCat]

Hi KC,

Just wanted to pipe in and say a few things-- one, you are getting amazing advice from vets-- you're really fortunate to have them so invested-- I would read, read, re-read everything they say. Steve85 really helped me in my sitch and I have probably read Blu's posts to me one hundred times, no exaggeration. I copied and pasted parts onto my phone so I could read over and over when I really needed it. I would do the same.

Three, STOP ENGAGING. It is not helpful. Give yourself a break of a couple of days. Make a rule that you don't respond to texts for x number of hours, don't answer his calls, and don't call back within x number of hours. That gives you some time to decide if a response is even necessary. Watch your heart rate. I have my heart rate displayed on my apple watch and I seriously watch it and didn't engage if it was elevated at all. You can set his calls and texts to have no alert on your phone so you only see them come in when you actively check for them, and you can only do it when you're feeling calm.

And finally--stop worrying about what you have or haven't done to date, DBing or not DBing, working out or not or whatever. Forgive yourself! This is NOT ON YOU!!!! Dust yourself off and go forward from here. You can do it.

HUGS

Thanks - May!!

I have started to read your sitch from the beginning.

I just feel like a fool.. so many things I want to go back on including the texts this morning. He must be so sick of me and angry that I'm working out again now... and not before he left??? Its so hard when he is getting all lovey dovey on FB and he is getting support from his other friends who know this woman... who havne't met me... they are saying how great it was to witness this happening between the two of them BUT they ALL know he is married.

I wish I could take the texts back. I had such resolve yesterday morning when he texted and I didn't respond.

What happened? He now has even less respect for me than previously.