It'll get a lot better, but unfortunately, it usually takes longer than we'd like. My approach to dealing with the pain was to stay busy from dawn 'til dusk. I had (and have) endless projects; the projects kept me busy and happy and increased the value of my house. That's a win-win-win.
I'm grateful for my overly busy life. When I get overwhelmed with all that I have to do I try to remind myself that this is a blessing. I remind myself that I wasn't happy before the BD either. Last night I was watching a funny show with D17 and for a moment imagined what life would be like if he had never left. He'd be annoyed with the show, be drinking, just an overall grouch. He had his happy moments of course when life went his way but it never lasted. He blamed me which I'm still struggling with but I'm in IC and I'm working through it.
However since he left I'm no longer shedding as much as before (long hair - everyone complained), I'm sleeping better, I'm laughing more, moments of joy, doesn't last of course but its real.
