As mentioned in previous post W makes a lot of passive-aggressive, argument-baiting judgy comments towards me - often done low-key in front of the kids. I’ve been mostly good about responding with nods or “okay” type of comments. But, overall I am struggling with this and mostly it is because it just feels like she’s potentially poisoning my kids’ minds. Any suggestions on how to handle these situations? Should I bring this issue up with my W? Or just validate or ignore and move on?
Stop nodding, or saying okay to them. IGNORE THEM. Your kids minds aren't going to be poisoned to you based on what your W says, they will be based on what you do. So give them no reason to think of you as anything other than an awesome dad.
Originally Posted by RVM
Another question in regards to GAL. So, besides the things I’ve mentioned earlier, I have gotten dressed up nicely after the kids have gone to bed and just said, “I’m going out tonight” and left.
I’m not concerned about going out and not giving her details of what I’m doing. But, I am concerned that 1) Since these things happen without giving W any real advance notice, W may think I’m just avoiding parental responsibility (if kids wake up, etc).
I really wouldn't care what she thinks. Work on your detachment.
Originally Posted by RVM
2) W may also think I’m being reckless or spiteful – i.e. going out to bars and drinking. She knows I go to the gym almost every weeknight. But, the weekend nights, she really has no idea what I’ve been up to.
See answer above.
Originally Posted by RVM
She did make a comment a few weeks ago – “are you going to go out every night now?” in a disapproving/angry tone. But, hasn’t said anything since then about my GAL activities and does not show any emotion regarding my activities.
If it comes up again simply say: "I am trying to stay busy to deal with everything that has happened." And then shutup and listen and validate. "Well, you going out all the time makes me feel like you are avoiding your parental duties." You: 'I can understand how you'd feel that, way. The kids are already in bed before I go out. If they wake up and you need assistance, just text me."
Originally Posted by RVM
We are not currently S or D. But, she has said a few times over the past few months, that "if we ever get D, I want it to be amicable."
Sandi, et al. I'd like some feedback on my past few posts.
They all say that. "I understand how you feel, and I agree that we should do so amicably with a focus on the our kids."
As far as feedback, I'd like to know what you are doing about dinner with your friends?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
