I don’t know what to do about trial separation - we had agreed no dating/sex but I don’t even know if I trust that .
You absolutely cannot trust him. We've seen this countless times here before, these trial separations with rules attached that the WAS completely ignores but expects the LBS to abide by. If you're going to separate then make it clear to him that you DO NOT agree to no dating/ no sex or any other rules. I am not saying that you should go date and have sex, but what I am saying is you're going to make him wonder. He will for the first time feel a little bit of control slip away, and he will start to wonder if he may lose you.
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In which case do I just tell him that it’s a full separation and a bridge to D? He is MO next weekend .
No need to threaten D. One step at a time. If he's determined to leave then insist on full S with no requirements attached. If you're living separately or will be as part of the S (sorry I'm not completely up on your sitch) then you should insist that he can't just drop by unannounced whenever he wants. He needs to let you know in advance, ask your permission, and knock or ring when he gets there. He's firing you as W, he needs to understand that that means he doesn't get to have a part-time W when it suits him.
