First court date February 24th

[DonH]

I'm afraid she will cut me off because it is a controlled substance. It's a low dose but in 12 days I cannot make it all day without them. I try. My goal is to take them (as needed) until after the support hearing.

I’m sorry I didn’t see this thread sooner but I assure you I read it all from page 1. I kept thinking to myself, I hope it’s not a benzodiazepine we are talking about here. You’ve now pretty much confirmed it is and that sets off big red lights and loud bells for me. I agree with the others you should not feel bad about taking medication including antidepressants. However this is far beyond an antidepressant. These things can take over and ruin your life. Your doctor can, should and better be very judicious with them - especially since it sounds like you are taking more than prescribed to “self medicate” it’s very easy to do - VERY. If you have a personal addiction history or even family history of addiction it’s yet another red flag.

Please be very very careful here. You will become physically dependent within a month - it could be more like a few weeks - although not likely from 30. Then with dependence you’ll need higher and higher doses to get the same effect you have now. This is very much like the pain pill, opioid crises we have. Benzo withdrawal is brutal and unlike opioids can be deadly. It is terrible to come off of and your anxiety with actually GREATLY increase as you come off them. I’ll bet you count the minutes until you can take your next pill then say to yourself, I’m only an hour early, I’ll just take it now - I need it to cope. That’s how it all starts. It really is a deal Witt he devil if taken for more than about one month.

All I’m saying is this is a really scary road to go down. You don't want to be saddled with an addiction to pills on top of everything else. Your doctor may be able to start you on some safer meds that can help. Just don’t fight her if she tries to limit you on these benzos. It really is in your best interest. Just google benzodiazepine addiction to see what I’m talking about and where my fear is based. I wish you all the best.