We have a saying around here: When he wants to come back, you will know. When he doesn't, you will be confused.
But do not underestimate his capacity for swinging wildly. So many have come here and said "My WAS will never change their mind!" However, he stood before God and witnesses and committed his life to you.....and then changed his mind. They CAN change their mind. Sometimes it takes going through with D before they do. Sometimes they do but the LBS has already moved on and says "thanks, but no thanks".
But to the ocean with him. Focus on you.
I think in my case things are much more tenuous. Seeing how we have been down this road before just 2yr ago... and he came back. I'm sure his walls are up much higher. This time rather than keeping things in house and leaning on me. He is leaning on friends and this OW. He is convinced that we never should have married to begin with. We only dated for 6months before he moved in and and then married a year after that. He stated we were still in the honeymoon phase - he feels we are toxic together. These are not words that would have come from my husband... these are words he is hearing elsewhere.
I think his resolve is stronger. He actually told me I should go out and date but he doesn't want to know about it... then why all the snooping on his part? All this interest in where I am and suddenly making me dinner is just a way that I stay a plan B?
I don't know.
But Steve85 please know I am reading and re-reading your messages... I'm making them sink in!!! I'm working on just focusing on me this weekend.
