Midlife wife crisis14

[Wolfman]

How did your wife do that to your daughter? How is she responsible for your daughters anxiety and OCD? Those are real mental illness that should be addressed as such.

You just love to place blame somewhere

I was just giving some background on my d. I am not trying to place blame. Although it seems that way. My d anxiety was being addressed by a therapist. She it seemed she was better she would stop going. She would stop because the therapist would say she did not need to go. But then months even a year would go by before her anxiety came back. Look my ex is not to blame solely. I use to yell at my kids. When I yelled it was very intimidating. I know that was a huge mistake on my problem. I went to IC and worked on that. That now I barely raise my voice. When I do, my kids know I am getting mad because they will say why am I raising my voice. I did smack them a couple of times on the butt when they absolutely refused to listen. Again, something that I haven’t done in many years and realized I should not have done that. I was smacked when I was a kid when I misbehaved. In 20 years together I walked out 5 times because I would get so angry in an argument. Again, ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT!! Again me contributing to the problem as well. I know that now, man I was an idiot. Ginger I know I was not perfect AT ALL!! But I realize my mistakes and what I need to do to be a better person and better dad. And will Never make those mistakes again. Therapy helped.

W,

I’m really sorry you had to go through this and be the only victim in the process. I certainly hope one day your ex will realize this was all her fault and how she turned your children against you. Since you did nothing wrong it was probably best to jump straight into a new relationship without any self reflection.

Validation or sarcasm?

This could be a new game show lol. With your host LH19 lol.

Sarcasm!! Lol
Look I’m sorry it comes across that way. The victim here is my children. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better. LH I do hope that my ex does one day realize how she contributed to the divorce. I realized after reading 5LL that I wasn’t speaking her love language. I just needed to give her more time and REALLY listen to her when she had complaints about life. I blew her off a lot. Again, you all have really opened my eyes to my mistakes, my IC AND reading has really helped. I don’t want to repeat the past. I am reflecting all the time. I understand my mistakes more and more. I want to keep improving on myself.
LH AND GINGER I appreciate the 2x4s. I have work to do. And I will continue to keep improving.

Wolfman....I think one thing you may want to look at out of all of this is why are you still so attached to this woman? Maybe you need to work some more on trying detach your emotions to the things she says and does.

As a father that just came through a rough patch with his own D, I feel your pain. As others have suggested, there are forces here that are beyond your control (OCD, depression, anxiety, and a less than ideal ex). Focus on what you can control. (Hint: It is you!)

I am focusing on myself. I am working hard to detach that last bit of me that is attached to her. I will keep working on not letting her emotions or words affect me. Steve can you elaborate on your d and the difficulties. I want to learn how to be an awesome dad!!! What works and what doesn’t.