As to the criticizing. Men on this page seem to really like dig in with this when it's a WAW or WW and it doesn't matter how "alpha" they are or not. As a wife and a mother and an A type woman. When your wife criticizes you can you take a step back from your personal pain, and ego and hear what she's saying when she says these things? Women for the most part, don't criticize and nag because we like to and we like making you guys feel like crap. It happens because we've felt unheard for so long. What I hear when you say what your wife said to you is that you are not as meticulous and careful changing and cleaning the little one as she is. Or you don't do it the way she'd like it to be done. Now was that a good way to say those things to you absolutely not. That is a terrible way to communicate a want or need but that's not really her strong suit now is it? So maybe baby steps on that. Don't hold her to expectations she can't meet. The conversation should've been you validating her and then finding out why she feels that way. What are you doing wrong changing the baby? Or what does she think your doing wrong changing the baby? Find out. If you are doing something wrong that will keep him happier and healthier in his diaper longer so be it.Tell her you'll be more conscientious in the future, but you'd really like it if she'd just come out and ask you to do those things instead of making back handed comments in front of the kids. If she's just being controlling that's the time to address both the fact that you can get from point a to point b with out the exact same route and it's really not that important, and talking to you that way is inappropriate. She's either going to hear you or not, but at least you took the high road. You're wife is not a child, and even though she may act like one, you shouldn't speak to her as if she is.

All WAS/WS will paint us as the bad guy. Now you may be a little bit of the bad guy here. There may be things you need to work on in the MR, as a dad, as a person. That's all of us LBS none of us are without fault here. No body is married to Jesus. Although for a period of time my WH thought he was Jesus in our marriage and I was the devil and the cause of all of his and our issues. Some of his complaints about me were totally and completely valid. I figured some out on my own. Some I already knew. Some I had to have my bff get real with me about and face. Some of the garbage he threw at me was exactly that garbage or his own crap he was projecting on to me. But I took the time to hear what he said. Even if he was angry when he hurled those things at me. Even if a lot of it was to justify his affair. Even if sometimes it was more garbage than truth. Because that's what he was feeling. He has to sort out on his own how much is him and how much is me on his own time. But I can figure out what is me and work on me with or with out him. Now that the OW is out of the picture and he's still very unsure about the MR, a lot of the narrative he's been telling himself is starting to fall apart and he's having to face reality vs the reality he created to justify what he was doing. It does lead to tiffs or just flat out confusion sometimes, because he still really really wants me to be the person he made up in his head. So he'll try to tell me things I've done or will do that never happened or in all likelihood wouldn't happen. And within hours he'll back pedal. None of this is a pretty, smooth or easy going process. All that being said she may never self reflect. And you have to accept that. You can't take her journey for her. You can only take your own. DBing at it's core is about self reflection and improvement. Worry about you. Your actions, reactions, personal growth, and parenting through this.