How do you navigate these legal talks without getting L involved?
You get a L involved.
The way you expressed that question highlights your wise and valid concerns about getting steamrolled or taken advantage of - “navigate these legal talks”.
Own has great advice and suggestions, which illustrate the amount of navigating that is required.
A general discussion, listening to his feelings and his plans, stuff like that is all fine. When it come to the details of the deal, you are in lawyer territory.
This is a business deal gone sideways, treat it as such. Your “business” partner wants out and did some less than ethical stuff, you don’t take them at their word. It probably doesn’t feel that way to you; I remember that time and just how counterintuitive it all was.
Let him push the speed of this - if it comes up. You are guessing and expecting it to happen. It’s hard to keep expectations at zero and yet still be prepared. The first is emotional, the second is intellectual - if that helps.
A final note at the moment. As said, do not be afraid to resolve the D if H is really bent on it AND it is a good deal. At the beginning a lot of WAS are feeling guilty and will offer more than half in an attempt to assuage their feelings. If he is making a really good deal, you will need to make a choice.
From discussions with a L you know your default legal settlement - the 50/50 spilt kind of thing. After that it’s listen and see what H wants. Divorce may not even come up.
Stay strong girl.
You got this.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
