I don't think you're ready. If this was a 100% dealbreaker you'd have filed for divorce already.
Keep detaching, keep working on your 180's, start GAL to the point where you avoid her R talks. Let that crap build inside of her instead of you always being there to be here outlet. When my sitch was bad, I'd take a change of clothes to work, and go do something and come home late like 10 or 11 pm and go straight to bed. I know you have kids so this makes it harder but just keep looking for ways to make this happen.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
