It’s been a weird night. We had parent teacher conferences for D15. And then grabbing things for a small dinner tomorrow. We’re Mexican American so we do quince big. But 16 needs to be acknowledged. Things felt very normal except the random back and forth comments. One minute being very about moving out. Next speaking like we’re going on infinitely. I was on the verge of tears multiple times because he doesn’t even realize how quickly he’s ping ponging. But still so normal. Even when he started to tell me more things he thought about today about OW not being as in as he thought. I appreciate that he wants to share the inner him again and that he heard me yesterday. But it worries me that he may have built this relationship up far more than it was.
May, no I wouldn’t want him to. It would feel forced or very like heavily plan b. Even if I don’t 100% buy into the plan b thing. We are still living our lives separately but I’m encouraging him to reconnect with a friend or two that walked away during this affair situation. He rarely leaves the house now. So it makes my at home GAL difficult but I’m trying to stay busy. I take up my space if I need it. He walks away when he needs it. I just need to work on finding my zen again. It just falls bank into this he’s tumbling through these phases so quickly I struggle to adjust in time. I think I need to work in more mindful practices. And I think I’m going to have to insist on weekly IC. And as always work on patience.
