How much do I tell him? I mean regarding hwo I feel about the situation and our R dynamic etc.? Is there any reason to not tell him everything? Just selective bits? Or does it not matter? He is fairly close to XW too although he hasn't said much to her, just listened to her. I haven't actually told him that much anyway re therapy, thoughts on how we interacted etc., and so on.
Don't tell him anything. You may think he only listens to XW, but I doubt that's the case. A lot of mutual friends will fancy themselves the "great savior of the marriage" and will say all the wrong things to the WAS. He misses you, he'd get back together in a second if only you would show a little interest, he's just miserable, I really think you should give it another shot, etc. etc. Their heart is in the right place but their words do more harm than good. What you should tell him instead is that you are starting to not miss her anymore, that you're moving on, that you are feeling pretty good about things and your GAL is going really well, etc. THAT is the kind of stuff you want to get back to her.
