Thank you Sandi, it's difficult to know what stage we're both at but that's very helpful. I would say she's been very remorseful and offered several sincere apologies. Oddly enough the bit that hasn't been forthcoming (willingness to do what is necessary, agreeing to terms) is the bit I've probably pushed most on, although she's said she would now do that (without me asking). I suppose that's either because she wasn't ready to let go of EA with OM or was seeing what she could get away with. It's difficult to know exactly what's going on behind the scenes and I've made peace now to not ask or investigate but that makes everything a bit more tricky. Would you ask for transparency for a period before she comes home? Would you want commitment for a period of time from all those points BEFORE having W home?
There was a lot of emotion and apology early on and she wasn't looking after herself very well for a while but it seems she is trying to move on from the A and not dwell on it (it has been discussed a lot) which is difficult for me as I feel we both have healing left to do and I feel I need to still see her remorse, even though she still apologises for it and says how bad she's been. She also said if we can R that we not talk about it apart from during MC. I think it's wise to not apply any pressure and let her come to her own conclusions though.
I'm still detaching and GAL, she's now messaging me a lot, calling me etc. that I'm answering only when I have to. Yesterday she came to find me at work which has never happened before and said she wanted to see me as I wasn't responsive to messages. She said she is looking for a house because she can't stay at her mums anymore. I think there's some truth to that but mainly an excuse to see me and temp check I think. She's looking at me differently though which is the biggest sign so far. I feel she's nearly ready in her mind but I won't apply any pressure and will try and wait longer than I feel I should. And all those points need satisfying before anything.
