This is where it gets frustrating U. Your worried it won’t make your life easier and making things worse. It can’t get any worse then it is now. You are living in limbo and paying for a house that you wife lives in while not working which may include entertaining another male. Trust me nothing is worse.
What are you afraid of if you push for D? She’ll be mad? So what? Please explain!
LH ~
I should be clearer here. I am not in a "file or mediate" situation. I can file and mediate. I can just file the petition, and/or include a request fo custody orders, and/or take steps towards a financial separation, and/or take steps towards disentangling myself from the home.
So... what is my plan? I don't want to lay it all it in detail here for anonymity's sake. I am inclined to go to mediation this week and lay out some things, and based on my W's response, decide what to do. For instance, paying for all this stuff is completely irresponsible and unsustainable. We need to sell the house if she cannot buy me out. Maybe we agree to sell and that's fine. Or I say, I'm stopping payments after XYZ and then you pay for it.
I'd also like to move to a financial separation. Ignore the house. I think my paycheck should go to my account and then I pay her a temporary guideline support payment until we finalize the D. Simple.
If she doesn't agree on the above 2, it's pretty clear I need to do something else. We can negotiate the details but the general items themselves are non-negotiable.
Custody/timeshare is a separate topic. I foresee making little headway on that topic in mediation. I will try. But I already know, you know?
You mentioned another male. A friend of mine brought that up this past weekend. "You know she must be dating by now, right?" I'm sure it would sting, but like you point out, the fact it would be *in a home I pay for* would drive me bonkers. I'm sure I would feel more jealous than I think if I found out she was dating, but I don't want her back and she can make her own decisions on that front. But in a house I pay for... phew.
