Separated and facing divorce (Part 3)

[mtb1981]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but if I were in your shoes, I'd be making sure my kids were staying with me when it's my time to have them. If you keep letting it slide and send them to mom's every time they want, that's gonna become the new norm for them and you're just going to get squeezed out of the picture. Next thing you know, you're basically just an Uber, shuttling them back and forth from school/practice to your exW's…

I know that it's a tough adjustment for them, but things are gonna have to change. The more time they spend with you, the better. They will adjust to staying with you during your time just fine. You just need to be consistent. I think it's an important boundary that needs to be drawn now, and not months down the road. It will be harder the longer you put it off...

"I love you both very much and enjoy my time with you. When it is your scheduled time with me, you will be staying here, and when it's your scheduled time with your mom, you'll stay with her. I understand that this is hard for you guys, but this is the way things are going to be from now on now that your mother and I are divorced. So, what do you guys want for dinner tonight? Your choice. Let's pick up some food and rent a movie to watch tonight."...

Personally, I'd throw in those last lines to move on from the topic and not dwell on it. Kids don't know what is best for them in the long run. I get that they may want to stay with mom all the time, but what good does that do for your relationship with them in the future...