Midlife wife crisis14

[ovrrnbw]

My d has been I therapy since she was 3. Because she had severe separation anxiety

Wolf, c'mon man. Therapy for 9 years? This should prove to you that 1 hour a week will never replace a positive environment with strong, smart parents. I hope you are going to make that environment.

When my d met my GF she cried that she had to meet her.

I can see why. Her parents have been divorced all of 2 seconds, they both are still somewhat attached, she knows her dad wanted to save this and here come your "girlfriend" who you started dating before you were divorced right? I bet your daughter blames this woman and you, at least partially, for the divorce. Now we know there was a lot more to it but how can she consider that when this big deal is right in her face?

My ex would yell at her to get over it and to cut the $hit.

I'm not there, so I don't know, but maybe your ex is right...there's so many people claiming anxiety today and counseling and mental health is in vogue right now. Kids are always looking for excuses and exceptions and it's mostly just whiny kids. I'm reading a family tree book with stories over a 100 years old and the things they expected out of children back then blows my mind. Now we let kids be kids well into their 20's. If your daughter grew up on a farm she wouldn't have time to worry about anxiety, she'd be too busy working.

I slept on her floor for a week until she got better.

I can't begin to understand the purpose of this.

I hope all of this makes sense.

It doesn't. I think you are overanalyzing everything.

I would just hope that she would treat us equally. Nasty to both or nice to both. It just hurts that I was always there for my d but now she is making me out to be the “bad” guy. I just hurts so much how I tried to always be this loving, caring parent.

She's 12. Adults don't treat everyone equally either, so what? This whole thing reeks of victimhood and not responsibility. Just be a good dad. You don't have to handle her with velvet gloves either, just be smart, strong, responsible, hardworking.

Wolfman,

I can tell you are still hurting over all of this crap. I think you need to work on letting it go. Stop letting things bother you. Be more detached with your ex-W, with your kids, with your gf. You are trying so hard to improve in all of these areas. I think you could benefit from a big, deep breath (figuratively and literally). Stop playing into your ex's arguments, there's not benefit to you. Do the right thing even when it's hard (it will never be the easier option). If you aren't in a spot where you're ready for a gf, then make that choice. I know you want her, I'm sure it's nice having someone who cares about you. Make sure you are putting yourself first when it comes to this relationship.

When it comes to parenting, I think you need some old fashioned advice. You know what it is. You may think it doesn't matter for you. Your choice. Good luck, Wolfman.