Give him all of the space he can choke on. Leave him alone. Learn to detach a bit more. This isn't your first rodeo and you need to go back and revisit your previous thread to see what you did back then. However, as I stated previously, I do not think your h returned to the marriage 100% 2 years ago. He was still thinking about his situation and it finally got to him. This new situation really isn't a new one at all...but a continuation from 2 years ago. I know you'll disagree w/me, but I call it as I see if from your previous thread and the postings of the here and now.
I don't entirely disagree. I stopped doing those things that brought him back to relationship. I stopped working out... slowly gained the weight back and felt horribly self conscious and unknowingly pushed him away. I had agreed to move when S18 graduated high school and that time is here and he just was seeing signs that I would never move... I mean I was talking in generalities like we need to do this to sell the house... but then I would say something he felt that I wasn't leaving. Seriously, if he came to me and said "its time to leave this behind or I can't continue the for sale sign would have been in the yard!" But, he just stewed on things...
So yes, I stopped DBing... and things reverted back to the same old same old which is why he states he can never give me another chance... it would hurt too much if he put himself out there again.
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What you need to understand...he's mentally checked out and when they are like that, nothing will bring them back until they are ready to work on themselves and their situation. That is why is it important for you to focus on you, your son for now. Step way, way back and give him the time and space to figure things out. The more you hover, the more he will resent the hovering and you and yes, the world outside will look so much more inviting to him.
YES ---- I will focus on only answering if he approaches me.
