We finally have a second mediation session later this week.
I'm curious if anybody here tried mediation for a bit, then found it didn't work and had to choose another path (shuttle mediation? lawyer-mediated agreement? court?). What were the signs that mediation wasn't going to work for you?
I did not assert myself enough during the first session. I was trying to be civil and respectful, but ended up allowing my W to control the topics the entire time.
I have a plan this time. I expect to get some traction on financial items. If not, I will now what I need to do. We are over-spending by such an obscene amount every month it is irresponsible.
For the kids, joint custody is a no-brainer regardless of the timeshare.
Timeshare is both the simplest and most complicated topic. In simple terms, I want 50/50. Taking into account the kids and the adjustments they will soon face, including a likely move out of the marital home, I am open to discussing how we get there. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, or even next month. But I want a plan to get there, and one that involves mutual respect for each other's time (no asymmetric agreements). Quite honestly, I do think we could do it now, but it might be hard on the kids. Summer schedule is going to be tricky.
I'm mostly pleased with my L representation. We have a strategy of doing this in the least costly and least litigious way - however, if needed, yada yada yada. This is the hardest part -- I still think in the abstract my W and I *could* be reasonable and work through things via mediation, I just don't know if it's possible without me giving more ground than I feel is right. Every negotiation involves giving ground, I get that.
I also want to avoid mediation focusing on the trees rather than the forest. My W tends to hand-pick special topics of her interest, rather than the big-ticket items. I suspect we may be talking about pre-school plans for D4, should it be her choice. This is like putting the cart before the horse... because I expect she may then use D4's pre-school as a reason to maintain some different schedule.
Anyways, lots of pent-up anxiety about the upcoming session. I hope I see some signs of hope. I can't hold out much longer while spending so much money each month and not seeing movement on time with the kids.
