I like your attitude, i.e., "to get stronger personally so that I can be okay no matter what happens". We all have been right where you are today and trust me, in time, you will get stronger. At first, it's a rocky road and you have ups and downs, but once you learn how to detach a bit more and learn how to watch is actions to see if they match up w/his words, you'll be okay.
Be sure you watch your finances. You may want to consider setting up a separate checking/savings account and stash money in it. The credit cards are another area that you need to watch. They tend to love to spend money on whatever makes them happy. I would also run a credit report to make sure he's not taken out any loans that you aren't aware of.
Try to keep the focus on you and your family. It will get better, i.e., one day at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
