I don't want a divorce II ---- NEW THREAD Part 3

[SteveLW]

When we are both at the house we mindlessly pace. I mean I'm getting ready for work which is normal for me to flit about the house but he is just standing in the kitchen.

I don't see a problem with this as long as you aren't following him around.

I am upbeat and say hello... he mumbles back. He is cooking his meals for the week. He is bringing in power tools to charge for garage work... he mentions that he no longer has circular saw. We discuss rental if possible.. buying one.

Small tweak. Stop greeting him. Come into kitchen, smiling, happy, and whistling, humming or singing. If he says hello, then say it back cheerfully.

He randomly states now would be the time to plant grass seed in back yard. I was wanting to wait until the yard had been regraded before going that expense and had always dismissed him.

Today I said if he thought it best and he was up to it I was fine with it... letting him have control... backing off.. it would be a 180 but also might be seen as a form of pleading?

"Whatever you think is best."

I also asked if he was going to be here for landscape appt tomorrow... he said yes. I said I would appreciate that and I value his opinion on what to do. I have to set back. I have to not interupt... I want to give him the lead. He feels I have cut him off and not listened to him previously.

"I am meeting with the landscaper at X time tomorrow in case you would like to be there."

DO NOT REMIND HIM OF THE APPOINTMENT. He is a big boy and he can be responsible for his schedule.

I said I know its important to you but I cant get the spare room cleaned out till this weekend. He quietly stated he would stay at R's [male friend] for another 4 day weekend. He states he was looking at houses Thursday and Friday and then working all weekend so did not want to be making the drive back and forth.

"I have a lot on my plate right now and I can't get to the guest bedroom. Feel free to move the stuff out if you would like to stay in there."

I'm weak and actually asked... are you really staying at Ron's or your female friend? He stated again Ron's. I let it go and then asked if Ron had spare room.. he said yes.

This isn't weak. This is just the wrong thing to do. This is pressure and control and needy. Stop.

Why does it matter??? I would like to think he is truthful and the old him would have stated "what does it matter" if he felt I asked questions that he felt were nosey... but who knows if he is telling truth.

I can answer that. He isn't. Which is why you don't ask. Cheaters spew lies. Lies are like the cheaters appetizer. BELIEVE NOTHING HE SAYS.

I am exercising... I need to step it up... first 10 dow. But the second 10 I will have to work for.

Wednesday have a couple of appt and will go to winery for food and music...

KC, on a grading scale of A through F, how do you think you scored?