Can you fire him as a business partner without firing him as a life partner? A big ego without the skill or dedication to back it up must be frustrating, especially when your name and money is on the line. I can relate--my ex inadvertently sabotaged one of the group adventure trips I led, and it's my only group trip failure to date. All your bullet points related to this business, so I'm curious about decoupling that.
I actually had thought about that, but honestly I don’t want to continue on my own in this environment and with the problems that have built up and with people all knowing us as a couple. Our business is community oriented, so customers know us personally.
That’s why my mind is to be the one to leave and start up elsewhere. I feel guilt and angry that that seems to be the best option, but if I was honest that would probably be the smarter option.
So in your relationship, would you say the business partnership was the problem?
Originally Posted by CWarrior
1. You say he's *probably* having an affair. How strong is your evidence? It's one thing to leave someone over an EA or PA, another entirely to leave someone over an assumed EA/PA.
At the moment he’s not in an affair, but I’ve caught him twice before with messages on his phone. The last time was late last year. I know it could just be flirting and not a full blown affair, but honestly i don’t really care about the distinction.
What ironic is he constantly criticizes his last girlfriend before me for cheating on him, and that’s how they ended their relationship. And yet here he is doing it himself. I think trust is broken on intention, regardless of how far you take it.
At the moment he is not straying but I am having trouble trusting him again. It’s one thing if you did it once, but twice. So part of my issue is the inability to trust him again.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
2. You say he skipped going to the movies with you the night before your birthday without a call--how rude! Did you end up finding out why? Did he do something to celebrate your birthday--a dinner or a gift?
Honestly he didn’t think he did anything wrong. He has general issues with communication and consideration. So when he does stuff like that, he thinks its normal. I had to explain to him why I was angry, and he just grudgingly went along. I genuinely feel like I’m talking to a child sometimes.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
3. What do you get from him that you appreciate?
Lately that’s a tough question to answer. The thing is, I spent a lot of time trying to appreciate him, letting him verbally know that I appreciate the things that he does for me, from the big things like teaching me the skills for this industry to the small things like making coffee in the morning. But I feel like I don’t get that kind of appreciation and reciprocation, just on the rare occasions when he feels like it. The rest of the time I feel criticized, and it’s tiring.
