Ok maybe last week I over reacted. We were just having a disagreement. My d seems to have no problem with my ex’s BF who she has been dating for just a couple of months. Again, for my d it comes from this unhealthy obsession she has for my ex. My ex could be dating a bum and my d would like him. It’s just what I am up against with my d.
Wolf, I have never seen a young girl that had an "unhealthy obsession" for her own mother. I think most people would call that what it is- love. I think you are extremely jealous of the strong relationship the two of them have when you should applaud their closeness. When girls are really young they tend to bond with their dad, and as they get into the teen years they pull back from that and attach more to their mom. It's normal, and as a dad you should just accept it and focus on making the best of the time that you have with her. The terminology you're using- "what I am up against" and such, it's like you see this as a battle between you and XW and you want to "win" and you want her to "lose". How about both of you winning? What's wrong with that? Set aside your jealously and pettiness and encourage your D to have a strong R with XW AND with you.
Bravo! You could hug and kiss your kids and play with them, but look at the behavior you are modeling! How does your daughter have an “unhealthy obsession” with her own mom???? You are far from having done your own work. That’s what you should be concentrating on at this time. Focus on building healthy relationships with your kids. Not ones that feel like a “who does it better” with your ex.
You aren’t up against anything with your D. You are simply her father. Be a father who models positive behavior in all relationships.
