She’s the gatekeeper because you allow her to be. This needs to stop.
Originally Posted by unchien
Right but I need legal action for this to happen.
It's not "Ex-Wife is gatekeeper until the courts weigh-in", it's "Unchien and Ex-Wife are equal gatekeepers until the court weighs in." If you both want to spend time with S on his birthday weekend, you are equally entitled. Possible exceptions--you've signed away rights, the court's already stepped in, the status quo is you don't see your kids on birthdays, your kids don't want to spend time with you.
