"I understand how you feel, you've stated that multiple times. I feel obligated to point out that I am not wanting any of this, I am the one trying to hold everything together, and you are the one insisting on S and/or D. However, if that is what you want then I will give it to you as I am powerless to stop it if it is what you want. However, I do have to protect and look out for myself if you insist."
I wanted to validate.. truly... but he really wasn't looking at me. He was moving around. And, I was afraid of saying something that would come out as a disagreement. But, I really wanted to say --- I'm not the one wanting this... we DO NOT have to get D.
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WASs and WSs in particular are masters at turning things around and making themselves the victim in these things. I see so much of that behavior in him. That is probably why he came back in to tell you about the garbege. "See how great I am! Even though I am the victim, you are trying to take me for everything, and you won't even clean the spare bedroom out for me, I am STILL nice enough to purchase a new kennel, bring the new dog in, and take out the garbage!"
I think it is to assuage his guilt.
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SICKENING. Why are you trying to save things with this person?
Because I look at him and see his hurt. I see the role I played in creating that hurt. I see him reaching out to me just 4 weeks ago ---- trying to get that connection again. Where was my head???? In my own insecurities and short comings NOT his... MINE.... :-(
Because I love him. He has his faults and days I wanted to pull out my hair but he is a good man. And, outside of what he is doing currently I respect him.
But, so long as he is leaning on this group of friends, who do not know me and buzzing in his ear that he has put up with too much for too long and why did he stay this long??? This same group is who seeing him with his A and pouring all of himself into that and not saying --- hey, what's up with this???
Steve85 I do not want to walk away from his man. I'm struggling stopping my behaivors that are seen as chasing and pleading. I'm trying to remove pressure from him. I'm trying to act as if... but also standing up for what I feel needs to be fair in separation.
