Okay, so I am still a little baffled why she feels the need to show you her phone activity, if you have not asked to see. What is she trying to prove? Does she ever ask to see your phone?
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It was a two time thing. Not sure if she is trying to prove anything, but maybe she erased everything to show she can. Doesn’t mean she is over him. Only time will tell. She never asks to see my phone. I wouldn’t care if she did.
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Anyway, you are doing the GAL, and you on your way home, so you will be able to spend time with your kids. During this period of separation, do you and your W get together for "family activities"? If so, how do you feel about it? IMHO, if you've been separated close to three years, and things appear to be standing still, you might have to shake it up just a little. I very seldom encourage inviting the W to join the LBH when doing things "as a family".........when there has been no signs that she has changed her mind. I see it as cake eating for her, b/c she gets to enjoy these times of "togetherness" with the family, but it doesn't move her emotional needle about reconciling the MR. Therefore, you might consider not inviting her to join in activities you've planned with the kids. At the same time, you wouldn't join the activities that she plans. The point here is to show a more realistic picture of how divorce looks. The divorced spouses do not continue sharing each other's family traditions, holidays, special events, etc.
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I am not a fan of the family gatherings( I love everyone though, so dont take that part wrong), as I am starting to feel like third wheel. I really like my In Laws, they are awesome. But, they are hands off the relationship, so none of us discuss it I purposely didn’t do Thanksgiving and everyone wanted to know why. . She doesnt like this event, as the BIL and her sister invite his side of the family and she feels left out, with the exception of her Mom/Dad, daughters and sister. Christmas we did do
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Does your W ever come over to your house, the marital home? I mean, does she go into the house? Have all her personal belongings been removed?
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She does come over, as she had to take care of the animals while I was away. Almost all of her stuff is gone. Stuff here is storage items. When she comes over during other times, its to see her cats, our cats, as they are her world. Her new place has a dog, due to my daughters boyfriend getting her one. So, the cats cant live there. And, this is their home. I take real good care of them. They were left in a box in a trash can in Hawaii, and my wife adopted them after going to t shelter for animals.
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Have you changed anything inside the house? For example........ replaced any old pictures that are on the walls or tables with something else; replace your bedspread with a new, manly look; rearrange some of the furniture to suit your likening; or rearrange the kitchen pantry/cabinets that better suits you.
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Nothing has been changed. I am a minimalistic person, so no, nothing yet. I was thinking of changing bed covers and getting rid of furniture. In reality, I will be selling the house next year, at the beginning. She will be getting a buy out here soon as I have to refi to get her name off of deed.
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How long will you be home, before you have to leave again? If you haven't planned for some rock'n times with the kids, as well as your own GAL, then I encourage you to look for local events in the area, get your calendar out and write it down. When you don't have the kids, take advantage of doing something you've never tried, or have stopped since being married.
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6 weeks, then I return and am changing careers. I hate traveling, been doing it since 1989. Me and the youngest are going to do trip somewhere, its our thing we do, and dinners, lunches, fishing and gun range amongst some things. The oldest and I do weekly things with the kids. Nothing much. Lunches, and parks if weather permits.. I am going to start going out, to dinner, beach walks, hiking and fishing. Just living. Might even go bowling again, lol
