Thanks BenB

[Mumin]

Hi all and big thanks for such great posts!
I have had a VERY busy weekend with the kids, been fun and really enjoyable.


Realized I probably wont be able to buy the house so actually have started looking at a listing of a "new" (smaller and a lot less work needed) house.
Also told the kids tonight (Sunday). Wrote W on Friday that we could do it together on Monday (like the fourth time I bring it up since all this started) and she never replied so I just did it.
At least I am starting to really take command/control of my own life. Feels really good!
Also finally the bed I ordered for D1 should be shipped this week. Might totally re-decorate her room without telling W. That would def be a 180 in several ways.

Anyway, tomorrow night will be the next encounter and I will try and apply your tips. It is likely that she will be talking to him again.
In some ways your replies give me a bit of a mixed message (though I totally agree with and think I understand the meaning). One suggestion is for me to leave the house while another is tell her to leave.
How is "just get up and leave", commanding respect? Telling her to leave seems a lot stronger but not sure I will go there tomorrow. Need to focus on the kids. If she is able to...

IF she talks to him in the MBR I will just go in there and fix my stuff to MAKE her move.
If she asks why intruding i will say:
"I live here. I do as I please in my house."
or
"Your going to act out on your affair here? So the kids can hear? Makes me sick! please leave the house!"