Yesterday was longer than I hoped for -

Work kept me busy for awhile.

Decided to check out a local winery that I have been wanting to get to for a long time. They have a very popular wine there that I have wanted to try. They have live music on Wednesdays and a food truck but since H works 3rds it never works out to go. Wine tasting by yourself is sort of lame... but there I was. I took home 2 bottles.

I grocery shopped. Put things away.

And there I sat. Texting friends but ultimately just sitting in a quiet house. Tried to continue reading but boy that is hard to do when you get smacked in the face with reality how wrong you have handled arguments --- when my H just wanted to be heard about the crappy drive and I just replied... Yes, BUT... (me: head in sand)

Today I'm off to the store to finish up getting spices for pot roast.

I have no idea if or when H will even stop by the house today... but it least it can smell nice with one of his favorite dinners. NO, I'm not expecting to have dinner with him. Is it wrong that I want it to smell familar? I think his random coming and going keeps me off balance. When I think he is here - he is not. When I think its safe to let my guard down... he shows up.

I will go off to church today. Mostly because it will be filled with people. I will be alone in a crowd rather than alone in this house.

I tried taking my ring off for 5min but the permanent creases it left behind took my breath away... will keep trying.