Not sure of the nature of the decisions you're talking about and what the money implications are, but unless you're burdening him with a lot of costs then I would go ahead and make the decisions yourself and proceed. I understand your concern that he thought you were too controlling before, but he's checked out now and you can't fix that in the relationship for now. Plus you've got to consider how much of that is really just rewriting of history. Were you really controlling or were you just stepping up because he wasn't? Right now he's looking for any ammo he can to use against you, even if it's completely fabricated or exaggerated.
Right, I’m not even a controlling person or great decision maker by nature - I was definitely just stepping up since he didn’t in the past. I agree, he’s looking for fuel to the fire.
Having a rough day today. Feel down and lonely. H referred to the study as his bedroom today and I went to the basement to do laundry and just sat against the washer and cried. I don’t want him to see me crying.
This week was relatively uneventful. Last night, H came home from his second job (he has a part time evening job apart from his 9-5) and seemed somewhat down and subdued. I went to bed right as he came home. He showered and then woke me up kissing me in bed. Just leaning over me and kissing me. Not sure if he was hoping for sex or not or what that was about. He stopped and then went downstairs to the study to sleep.
I’ve been debating the sex issue lately. I have caved a few times and had sex with him the last few months. Definitely seems cyclical like every 3 weeks he’s interested. I never initiate. I realize he is likely just using me when he’s horny and that really hurts. He often apologizes after sex too. But it’s hard for me to decline because having sex seems (artificially I know) like a temporary return to normalcy in our M. If I start refusing him altogether, it’s one less thing tying us together. I don’t even know how to broach the subject of feeling used in sex. Stop him when he’s making an advance? Initiate a conversation about it?
