Sending support your way too, oceangirl... you are amazing and strong and I know you can do this. You will be OK no matter what happens.
Is there any way you can give yourself a mental break from all of this? I think you deserve it so much... go see a movie or get out of the house with your mom and do something crazy and fun and mentally consuming? Like an indoor climbing facility or a show or something? Where you can just give your brain a break?
(((OG)))
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
Thanks May! He left out of town this morning, so I am hoping to go with her on her last day here somewhere. I am going to work on cleaning my house and my brain this week. Try to get some perspective.
hugs to you!
the best apology is changed behavior. *************** me: 45 h: 48 m: 23 T: 26 DD1:19 DD2:16 DS:11 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
Hi everyone -- I am having a nice little pity party as tonight when I come home a little boy was running for the elevator, so I shot my arm out to grab the door...and my phone flew out of my arms and dropped...right down the elevator shaft. I could not believe it. Not only is it my phone, but it is in a case with my ID, debit cards, etc. Ugh. Tomorrow I have to go to the office and beg for someone to come asap.
My mom left this morning. H did not call me yesterday while he was out of town. I did not call or text.This after talking to me over the weekend like we are normal people. We sleep in the same bed. I feel like I will always live on Planet Crazy.
Tonight he called, I think to check on my son but I missed it. I did end up calling him from my daughter's phone to let him know my phone-in-the-elevator situation. So embarrassing.
I have gone back and forth the last few days feeling like I will be okay, feeling like I am detaching, to feeling so much grief, to feeling so MAD at him (so not detaching I guess).
Last edited by oceangrl; 03/04/2006:34 AM.
the best apology is changed behavior. *************** me: 45 h: 48 m: 23 T: 26 DD1:19 DD2:16 DS:11 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
I have gone back and forth the last few days feeling like I will be okay, feeling like I am detaching, to feeling so much grief, to feeling so MAD at him (so not detaching I guess).
Hi OG, what a nightmare about the phone! I hope it’s salvageable.
I am cycling through all the emotions you describe, and it is sometimes overwhelming. I like to feel like I am detaching and suddenly I think about the reality of what is happening and I hit the floor with grief. How do you deal with the grief? I sometimes find a really good cry helps drain some of the negative emotions away, but it’s not always practical to have a big cry (e.g at work). I’ve never had to deal with a close family bereavement as an adult , and I feel so ill-equipped to deal with any kind of grief. I’m trying to get myself from denial to acceptance but it’s hard. I guess these emotions are all a normal part of the process. Keep strong and keep holding your head high. You are doing amazingly ! X
M:49 H:49 T:20 M:18 D:16 D:14
EA: Feb 2019-May 2020 Separated: Mar-early Aug 2020 H asked to reconcile: Jun 2020 EA relapse: Oct/Nov 2020 Recon #2: since Nov 2020
Hi everyone -- I am having a nice little pity party as tonight when I come home a little boy was running for the elevator, so I shot my arm out to grab the door...and my phone flew out of my arms and dropped...right down the elevator shaft. I could not believe it. Not only is it my phone, but it is in a case with my ID, debit cards, etc. Ugh. Tomorrow I have to go to the office and beg for someone to come asap.
My mom left this morning. H did not call me yesterday while he was out of town. I did not call or text.This after talking to me over the weekend like we are normal people. We sleep in the same bed. I feel like I will always live on Planet Crazy.
Tonight he called, I think to check on my son but I missed it. I did end up calling him from my daughter's phone to let him know my phone-in-the-elevator situation. So embarrassing.
I have gone back and forth the last few days feeling like I will be okay, feeling like I am detaching, to feeling so much grief, to feeling so MAD at him (so not detaching I guess).
During our move 1 1/2 years ago, I lost my wallet. I think I dropped it at the gas station when I stopped to fuel up. No one ever turned it in. I had little cash and some gift cards. I literally didn't care about them. The wallet was a deer skin wallet that isn't made anymore, had all my credit cards, ID, CCW, Soc. Sec Card, etc. I would have loved to have gotten it back minus the $30 and $50 in gift cards. That would have been a fitting "stupid tax" to pay for my negligence.
The good news is that you can recover. IDs can be replaced. CCs can be cancelled and reissued. Even the wallet itself (phone and case in your case) can be replaced even if not with the exact same one.
But I am pretty sure they will be able to get your phone back.
The emotional roller-coaster you describe is real. Don't run from it, but don't sit home and stew in your own juices. One of the former posters here that struggled the most was a guy that would just sit in his office all day, then go home and sit at home all night. And he wondered why he struggled. He had a million excuses why he couldn't GAL. Excuse are easy. GAL is difficult. BUT IT IS SO VITAL. So stay busy.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hi everyone -- I am having a nice little pity party as tonight when I come home a little boy was running for the elevator, so I shot my arm out to grab the door...and my phone flew out of my arms and dropped...right down the elevator shaft. I could not believe it. Not only is it my phone, but it is in a case with my ID, debit cards, etc. Ugh. Tomorrow I have to go to the office and beg for someone to come asap.
Oh man!!!! Were you on the lowest level when it happened? Elevator pits are about 4' deep so if you were on the lowest level and the phone had a case it probably survived. It's not a big deal to retrieve it, the elevator has to be parked up a floor and there's a pit access ladder to go down. If the building has on-staff maintenance then they probably won't have to call the elevator maintenance company for it and can have their own person do it. Good luck!
As a side note, I'm an architect and on one of my projects the general contractor was drilling a shaft for a hydraulic elevator. The elevator was 4 stops so the shaft was about 60' deep and maybe 18" in diameter. One of the contractors was looking in it and his phone slipped out of his shirt pocket and went right in. There was no getting that one back!
Hi everyone -- I am having a nice little pity party as tonight when I come home a little boy was running for the elevator, so I shot my arm out to grab the door...and my phone flew out of my arms and dropped...right down the elevator shaft. I could not believe it. Not only is it my phone, but it is in a case with my ID, debit cards, etc. Ugh. Tomorrow I have to go to the office and beg for someone to come asap.
Oh man!!!! Were you on the lowest level when it happened? Elevator pits are about 4' deep so if you were on the lowest level and the phone had a case it probably survived. It's not a big deal to retrieve it, the elevator has to be parked up a floor and there's a pit access ladder to go down. If the building has on-staff maintenance then they probably won't have to call the elevator maintenance company for it and can have their own person do it. Good luck!
As a side note, I'm an architect and on one of my projects the general contractor was drilling a shaft for a hydraulic elevator. The elevator was 4 stops so the shaft was about 60' deep and maybe 18" in diameter. One of the contractors was looking in it and his phone slipped out of his shirt pocket and went right in. There was no getting that one back!
I was on almost the lowest level. The apartment office said that the service people charge $560 an hour for a service visit. And that includes their travel, and you don't know where they are traveling from. Yikes. I may get a new phone and ask them to just retrieve it for me on a service call. I will just have to replace everything. I am reminding myself this is a pain, not a tragedy.
And what a story! That poor guy!
the best apology is changed behavior. *************** me: 45 h: 48 m: 23 T: 26 DD1:19 DD2:16 DS:11 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
The emotional roller-coaster you describe is real. Don't run from it, but don't sit home and stew in your own juices. One of the former posters here that struggled the most was a guy that would just sit in his office all day, then go home and sit at home all night. And he wondered why he struggled. He had a million excuses why he couldn't GAL. Excuse are easy. GAL is difficult. BUT IT IS SO VITAL. So stay busy.
Steve, this is SO TRUE for me. When I woke up this morning, I had that initial feeling of wanting to stay in bed with the covers over my head. I quickly made a list of things to do. Also four goals of things to do for myself each day. And I got up, got ready and have been getting things done. I have mild OCD, and I have to be super careful not to get stuck on a loop overanalyzing some thought. I have to be careful to recognize that and break that loop.
I had an IC appt today. I am so glad I didn't because I let that slide and haven't done it for awhile. It was so good to work through some things. To hear someone validate that I have worked so hard on this and I deserve love and respect. I am still taking your advice -- hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
the best apology is changed behavior. *************** me: 45 h: 48 m: 23 T: 26 DD1:19 DD2:16 DS:11 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
The apartment office said that the service people charge $560 an hour for a service visit. And that includes their travel, and you don't know where they are traveling from.
Ouch! Unless it's an iPhone 11 Pro 256GB--that sounds like toast.
Originally Posted by oceangrl
I am reminding myself this is a pain, not a tragedy. I deserve love and respect
The apartment office said that the service people charge $560 an hour for a service visit. And that includes their travel, and you don't know where they are traveling from.
Ouch! Unless it's an iPhone 11 Pro 256GB--that sounds like toast.
Well, I now own the new 11 Pro as of two hours ago!
Originally Posted by oceangrl
I am reminding myself this is a pain, not a tragedy. I deserve love and respect
I love the resilience in your last couple posts.
[/quote]
Thank you, I am trying to remind myself of resilience. Sometimes I think I have it, and sometimes I know I don't.
the best apology is changed behavior. *************** me: 45 h: 48 m: 23 T: 26 DD1:19 DD2:16 DS:11 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
