Thanks guys. I agree with much of what’s being said here. I do think that when I’m able to be rational and reasonably accommodating to him it does disrupt his driving narrative and justifications and that angers him. It’s all so backwards, really. I’m focusing on my detachment momentum, and I’m struggling today. It feels like when H picks up on my semi detached nature it freaks him out a bit. It feels like the ups and downs and twists and turns of the rollercoaster that is Hs mixed messages are getting closer together. Things seems to flip from one extreme to another so quickly, it is making me somewhat crazy. I am further along on my detachment path than ever, but I still have a long way to go. All of this doesn’t affect me as intensely as it once did, but it still effects me.
This week has been ALL over the place. On Tuesday we got into a minor parenting disagreement. I stayed extremely calm and spoke my piece, He got defensive as usual. When he tried to shut down the conversation, I just said ok and didn’t push it (huge 180 for me) and he then inevitably picked the topic back up. When he accused me of being patronizing I calmly validated and apologized that he felt that way and assured him that was not my intention. I handled it really well. After he left he was texting me about small nothings and then this:
I hate leaving your place feeling like this. I really appreciate your want to be successfully communicative. I want that too. Admittedly I was unnecessarily defensive. If course you want her safe I know and appreciate that. Thanks for being patient with me
UNPRECEDENTED. I was amazed. I let him know I appreciated it. The next morning he texted me:
Good morning girls! [completely unnecessary stuff about D4 from the previous day] Have a great day!
I mean...what??
He was texting me random unnecessary stuff unrelated to D4 or anything really while I was work yesterday.i stayed last night up until D4s bedtime and when I got home he pinched my waist and commented on my appearance (???????) and leaned in to me so I could smell him. Then after bedtime he got all serious and asked me about the financial disclosure papers I still need to serve. AM I INSANE? This is so so so confusing. Right?? Am I nuts?
