I get your message, believe me I do, and you cannot imagine how much it means to me (((hugs))).
Thank you. I feel you either choose to do things your way, or you fail to trust the DB process.
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Last weekend I was in Spain, it was the 10 year anniversary from our first serious date, when I took her to some roman ruins close to our city and then out for lunch. I wanted to see her and tell her about marriage 2.0 on the ruins on the one I shattered.
Please explain what part of Rule #5 do you not understand? How many times have we told you to stop trying to get her alone with you, and to stop talking to her about the relationship? Talking about Marriage 2.0 is simply giving yourself an excuse to continue doing the same pursuing behavior. The actions above would be heavy pressure, and adding a digit at the end does not change anything. You are still talking about having a MR. It is all in vain, until she wants to have a R with you.
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After my selfish me planned to see her, I tried to call her and guess what, yes I got more ignorance, contempt and fury. We spoke on the phone, again she told me to listen and not talk and she said she thought there was nothing to repair between us and that I was not giving her space.
Exactly.
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Starting today, there will be no more attempts to call her, meet her or talk to her, I will spend many days at home crying for the loss of my M but I deserve a woman who loves me for all I am and not a person who keeps telling me that I am harassing her. I will build a life for me and my children and I will exclude her from it, and I will be happy as a single man and I will become a man that I can look at the mirror to with pride. I will love my two sons above everything and more than anyone will ever do and I will be social, open and fun. My posts in this wall will go from being focused on her and her reaction to be focused on my healing and my changes.
Great! Just let me clarify something. It's true we can tell when a LBS truly begins to detach and stops focusing so much on the WAS. However, if you still struggle with the sitch, it's perfectly okay to talk to us about it. That's why you are here, to talk about whatever bothers you.
I think whenever she dashes your plans, the pain carries you into proclaiming what you will and won't do anymore. It's like an emotional outlet. Eventually, the longing for your W outweighs the recent pain she caused, and so you go into another detailed plan of how to create an opportunity to approach her about giving you another chance. ((hugs))
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> Learn to play piano > Be more present with my children > Promote at the new job > Muscle up a little bit > save up for the car I always wanted
Okay, now decide the steps to take in order to achieve these goals.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
