Yes. If only when your partner told you he couldn't endure the long commute, you'd validated his concerns, instead of getting all defensive about what you were doing in return. If only when you became defensive he'd validated your concerns instead of getting defensive and then putting his diddly doo in another lady's hoohah.
KitCat, you'll learn from your mistakes and do better next time, no? And hopefully for a partner who won't cheat on you at all, let alone cheat on you multiple times.
You are right. I have been feeling good about myself for a change this afternoon and really having this 'aha' moment with true clarity.
I even realized today his interaction with me on Wednesday morning when he was shoveling was a 'bid' for a connection though very small. He was shoveling and not paying much heed until he came to get me and ask me to come over to show me something. He said look - I've never seen that before. His truck had slid nearly a foot down the driveway. He pushed on the truck and it no longer moved. It was just slick enough at the spot with the slope of the driveway it slid. He kept mentioning to me and I was still "walking on eggshellls" phase. I said "Wow, interesting". I could have done a better job validating. I was nervous about saying the wrong thing. I was confused by why he would show me - but he wanted to share the experience. Though small that it was. I need to recognize those more.
But, CW your point is very vaild. I may have had an awakening but it doesn't change the fact that he said he was done, wanted D and is with A.
Just when I feel I can get my feed under me - I can be different. I can be better. I have to remind myself he doesn't care.
Having dinner with my mom, working tomorrow, continuing to exercise - down the first 10lb but lets face it the first 10 are the easiest. Tomorrow is work and then I'm going to have to clean house. Sunday I will go to church not because that is my thing but I will be around other people and not isolated at home. Even though I may not have direct interaction specifically I will have distraction.
