I've decided to quit giving his ever changing process here that much emotional energy. I'm just accepting the gift of time because it's keeping our girls' lives status quo for a little longer, and I'm not worrying about what it all means. We are in limbo. We aren't moving in either direction any time soon. We've just slowed the time line here, and at this point that's all I really want, the least amount of disruption to my girls' lives as possible.
Hey WF, I think you have this right on. Take it for what it is worth-- the gift of time-- try to keep your same detached mindset you are so amazing at.
FWIW, I do think with my H restarting physical intimacy was a game changer for him, together with me dropping the rope and him seeing me actively starting to work on the D scenario. I do think the shift in seeing you as a sexual being again makes a difference and is part of him questioning his choices. That being said, you also don't want to make it TOO easy on him-- you desire what you don't have and all that. All seems complicated but my recommendation would be continuing to give him space and GALing and focusing on you. Not saying to turn him down but maybe not being too available.
Also, so funny... my H also got the Chernow book for Christmas.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
