I am glad to read that you asked him to move out. An affair is never okay. If you aren't happy, work on the R. Or leave with maturity and dignity and transparency. Lying and cheating just makes a bigger mess. When I found out about H's affair and all the lies, I said "you can't be here. you have to leave." It was a knee jerk thing I said in the moment but I don't regret it. Oh how I want him home. I miss him. But I know, for me, he can't be here unless he is all in and ready to work on the R... it hurts, doesn't it? And it is so scary. I don't know when the right time is for someone to remove their ring. I am still committed to my marriage and I didn't break vows and at least right now, I think to myself that I will keep wearing it until there is a divorce. It means something to me and symbolizes my commitment. (And currently there is no talk of S or D in my situation. My H is standing motionless like a deer in headlights.)
Hang in there and keep DBing. I know the heartbreak you must be feeling.
Thanks for the support.
I have said he needs to move out but there is no time line. He technically is emotionally moved out. He is spending the next 4 days with her. He will be back at some point to cook for himself, do what little laundry remains here - I feel that clothes are accumulating at her place.
The hardest part is NOT knowing when he will and will not be here. I could be at a good place with some down time and he pulls into the driveway. My stomach is knots... is he to get clean clothes? is he here to work on the tub/shower? is he to sleep? I suppose he will show up Sunday but will he??? This is what causes some anxiety.
