I had a really good marriage, at least from my perspective, until the OM came along. We both did some things really well and we both could've done some things a lot better. My ex-wife was less attentive to my sons than I was, but she was generally a good mom. Regardless, I wouldn't have her back; too much damage was done.
My H is an avoidant who thinks happiness is obtained by outside circumstances. We married young, I was in love, so in love, codependent, and I just kept chasing. Our R was fiery, passionate but dysfunctional. I think the sex is what kept us together for so long. It sickens me to think he found a better replacement but I try really hard not to think about that.
I won't take him back either. Too risky. If he left once what's to stop him from leaving again?
