I am glad to read that you asked him to move out. An affair is never okay. If you aren't happy, work on the R. Or leave with maturity and dignity and transparency. Lying and cheating just makes a bigger mess. When I found out about H's affair and all the lies, I said "you can't be here. you have to leave." It was a knee jerk thing I said in the moment but I don't regret it. Oh how I want him home. I miss him. But I know, for me, he can't be here unless he is all in and ready to work on the R... it hurts, doesn't it? And it is so scary. I don't know when the right time is for someone to remove their ring. I am still committed to my marriage and I didn't break vows and at least right now, I think to myself that I will keep wearing it until there is a divorce. It means something to me and symbolizes my commitment. (And currently there is no talk of S or D in my situation. My H is standing motionless like a deer in headlights.)
Hang in there and keep DBing. I know the heartbreak you must be feeling.
