Thanks BenB

[Mumin]

At work so will be a bit short.

Why would you say "of course you should go meet your friends"? Is it not on a weekend she is supposed to have the kids? Now you are encouraging her to go?

Havn't yet set a FINAL & DECIDED schedule
+ we talked about her travelling to her friends few weeks back and I said ok.
Maybe I should set up a schedule at home so she can see..? At least "block" my own outlook.
Anyone have tips on the practical side when it comes to kids. Will take some time to get used to the new routines.

Do you see how that puts you in a terrible position? All you are doing is showing how attached you are.

Totally see, thank you SO MUCH for questioning and explaining. What I did was go in to bathroom and shave so I didnt have to listen.
Can you explain moping? Not sure I understand.

You are explaining why you are living in your own house, to your wife who is cheating on you. This gets a big hell naw from me.

Her talking on phone to OM right in front of you is a huge sign of disrespect, man, just huge.

YES! Totally is and FEELS disrespectful.
DEFINITELY dont want to, or deserve this kind of treatment. Thing is I am pretty sure a lot of the times she doesnt realize how it might make me feel.Would like to enforce some kind of boundary but Ben has cleverly explain that this is hard. Luckily the kids dont see this interaction. We are most often not together when kids are awake.
Working on my emotional boundaries (which helps) but that doesnt really affect her.
Sometimes it feels like I shouldn't be talking to her at all. She is either demanding explanations or disrespecting me.
If I follow the typical boundary cheat sheet on this OM hpne thing I guess it would go:


*When you talk to OM while I am here I feel disrespected, and when you do it in MBR I will have to interrupt you when I need something from the closet. Also, you might wake the kids up.

*I want you to keep your business with him elsewhere. Go to the cabin if you want to talk to him. (Maybe scratch that last sentence.)

Enforcing would have to be putting the house up for sale... (I think she knows I am considering it)

"I live here. You want out, I wish you the best"

Have been memorizing this. GREAT response! Thanks!
No off to gym while reading Sandis rules.