Do I detect a little self-pity in all this, FS? ... MAKE time to treat yourself
I am GAL'g a lot. I'm not sure if that counts as treating myself but keeps me distracted. But there is definitely a sadness at the moment. And when I have time to think, or am on auto pilot (driving, walking) and my brain has room to wander, I get pulled into the tunnels. Not crazy tunnels like before and more focused on what I should do as opposed to how I feel, and because there are no clear answers, I go round and round in circles.
Yes, the timing was poor. In my defence, he brought up the dual sending of emails to the schools and when I calmly asked him to cc me in future he was the one triggered, not me. The dog thing probably could have waited though. But it wasn't the dual emailing and it wasn't not telling me about the change in plans for the dog. I was annoyed at the lack of communication/consideration he gives to me.
I will take yours (and Alisons and Mays) 'great job' on the house. You are right, no-one else has said thank you - they've noticed, but I guess it is tied into a lot of emotion for them (even the children).
Originally Posted by Yorkie
Why the flip is he upstairs taking a nap?
Because I am more considerate of him than he is of me.
Journalling
The kids have been back two days and are now back with their dad for two days. D13 had a melt down yesterday morning and after improvements in our relationship it feels like we are back at square one. This time it was over a sandwich she'd left on the side from the night before which I threw out in the morning. Apparently she intended to take it to school for lunch. When I tried to explain to her what happened, and also that she should put things like that in the fridge and not randomly on the side. She pretty much told me to stop talking and that everything was my fault and then went into go slow mode making everyone late. I had quite an important meeting in the morning (which I missed) so I lost my temper. I messaged H during the day to tell him and also to back me up on trying to get her to be more responsible and, although he was fairly understanding, it came down to "I don't have these problems when I'm with her". So that s*cked.
H had his first mediation two days ago and he has not mentioned anything to me. The next sessions are joint sessions which we will need to book together. I am not sure if I should leave the ball in his court (i.e wait for him to bring it up) or to ask him how he wants to proceed. I know the right Db action would be to let him do the heavy lifting and just make myself available, prepare in the background, but being my H, it may never move beyond the first mediation session. I really don't know. Do I sit on my hands and then go through this again in six months??
