1st Anniversary of Limbo, Indecisive WAH (part 2)

[Pommy99]

Oh Pommy. I hate this kind of pain. You are basically a yoyo on a roller coaster. Too many ups and downs. I hope you can re-center yourself. This is just the worst though. My husband is planning on exiting also and it is also painful.

For me, the constant rejection hurt so much. And then after a while, I got tired of it. I got tired of my feelings depending on whether he wanted me or not. I just let it start bouncing off me. I still hurt. I'm still sad. But I keep putting his problems back on him.

What can we do to support you?

OG thank you. I know you are going through the same pains as me. I am impressed by how strong and focused you are being. The rejection does hurt but I know I am worth far more than what he values me at. I just forget to tell myself that sometimes!

This past week I've read stories on here from all of you and I see now that there must be a whole planet of these aliens out there because your H and mine and so many on here seem to have a similar script on perpetual replay. The ambivalence, the back and forth, one minute in and the next out. It totally messes with our minds and hearts doesn't it?

Hi Belleva , I’m so sorry you are going through a bad time. I like your reference to a ‘script on perpetual replay’. It’ is like a piece of computer code stuck in a loop. Their behaviour is random and unpredictable but in a logical and scriptable way. I’m wondering if they are robots more than aliens!

I'm not sure how you can't both be right here-- he has both feet out the door and is hanging on with his little finger, AND is unsure. If he wasn't unsure, he'd be gone-- both feet and all his fingers. Is your resistance to this illustration that you think he's hanging on with more than just a little finger? Can you explain more?

yes I think my resistance was that I felt he was clinging by more than just a finger. But maybe a good analogy would be someone who is about to do their first parachute jump out of a plane. They peer over the edge a little, then step back. Then they lean out a little further, and step back. And bit by bit they get closer to making the jump, until finally they drop their arms and out they go. I think he is that parachutist, and he is peering over edge, but he’s still filled with fear and doubt that this is a safe thing to do. Maybe IC sees him as being closer to the jump than I can see or admit.


I am sooo tired tonight that I will reply to your other Qs May, and Wayfarers comments tomorrow.

I will just finish off by saying how AWESOME you all are at keeping me grounded, teaching me not to overthink, or over analyse, and reminding me of the things I should be doing (and not doing). It’s like having my own personal multi-pack of ICs :-)) ....and I love that, so thank you everyone xx