Hitting My Stride IIII

[Dawn70]

I think Don may have a point. You seemed adamant in many earlier posts in telling XW you did NOT want to hear about her bf and while I get it, I can also imagine that might bring some hesitancy on her part to actually bring the 2 of you together for a meeting. Of course, to doodler's point, that was exactly what I thought of....she was embarrassed by him. In comparing him and you (which she inevitably does whether she admits it or not), maybe he doesn't quite stack up in her eyes and she doesn't want you to see that, particularly when you now have the fabulous, beautiful doctor in tow.

Also, like G, I think I have a contrary viewpoint to many of you sometime because I'm not a "real" parent. I didn't give birth to my daughters but I totally am all in on loving and parenting them and being there for them. I am sure it is difficult to see someone else parent your children. I think you responded correctly to what went down by addressing concerns to your XW and hearing her explanation of what your D told you, so that is all good on you. While I get that you don't like to think of her bf parenting your children since he is not technically their stepdad, I think the reality is that he does play a parental role on a regular basis. It isn't like they are casually dating. They are in a serious relationship. So, that is going to happen, particularly with someone like your XW, whom I get the impression is very much a follower in a relationship rather than a leader. I'm not saying it is right, but I'm saying it is probably a fact of life in many cases, not just that of you and your XW. You say that you don't step in with the doc's son when she is around and you only do when you have him and she is not there, but your relationship is newer and somewhat different. You and the doc don't live together. I bet dollars to donuts if y'all lived together, you would have a much more active role in parenting her son, even if you weren't married. It is just how life works. You and your xw seem to have a good co-parenting relationship, so you have to trust that she is watching and making sure that her bf is not stepping out of line with your Ds, but if he does, by all means, you should have a pointed discussion with him.