When let her know he was perfectly welcome to attend the events she made a bunch of excuses and really didn't give me a direct answer as to why.
Which really tells me something is going on. I don’t know what and tend to think then it may not have anythung to do with the J of today. Perhaps in her mind it's still the J of years ago? I just don’t know but when I hear, “I’ve got to work” or “we can’t because of the dogs” (again not you just another excuse that seems to always get used - when wanting to do something the dogs seem fine for 12 hours but when not wanting to do something they can’t be alone for an hour) my BS detector goes off. Either she or he is avoiding. Clearly. I mean you’ve said he won’t come downstairs when you arrive there. Is he intimidated by you? Is she embarrassed by him?
I do think if bad things were going on the kids would have said something sooner. And the first you hear, while your D is already in a “mood” is he “yelled” you should know what 9X7 is (BTW should the low # not come first 7X9) OMG just a little humor but you get the point. I am willing to bet 7X9 dollars he did not yell.
So often it’s not the actual things that are the real problem it’s below the surface. Take the lead on this J. Don’t let your x W avoid any longer. Tell her you want to meet him and her meet the doc. Let’s pick a date, what works for you ExW? Just get it done. Be the leader here. It’s what’s best for your girls. I have to believe it’s adding stress for them thinking they can’t mention BF to you or the doc to your exW. Don’t let them carry that any longer. If anything, if there ever is an issue with BF your daughter will be much more open to telling you.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
