About the pets, get your son more involved in taking care of them if your h isn't going to do so. You shouldn't have to do a large majority of the work w/them.
I will share w/you what I did about a very similar situation w/pets. We had one adult dog and when he went down the rabbit hole, he got a six month old pup, which we didn't need. He did as little as possible for either dog. I was in the situation of commuting to DC which is 1 1/2 hours one way for me. I would come home, feed/water the dogs and play w/them while my xh would sit in the house watching TV and stuffing his face. So, when he walked out the door and showed no sign of returning, I called around and a good friend took the pup. Puppies need a lot of time, love and attention, something I didn't have to give at that time. I asked him if he would take the pup...the answer was no. So, the pup had a good home for many years with my friend and I got to see her whenever I wanted. But, what did my xh go around telling people? I gave his puppy away and you know what the responses where to him? "Well, you walked out and what did you expect her to do? She has a long commute and is gone 12 hours a day...she did the right thing." He didn't get the sympathy that he wanted so badly and to make me look like a bad person.
Bottom line, you need to think about YOU and what YOU need to do for YOU to make your life easier. He certainly isn't doing much to help you out at all. As we have said...he fired you as his wife, lover and companion...so start thinking like a single person and do what is right for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
